Bodyform, “The Truth”

Carat,Rubber Republic

Hello Richard, I’m Caroline Williams, CEO of Bodyform. We read your Facebook post with interest, but also a sense of foreboding and I think it’s time we came clean. We lied to you, Richard. And I want to say sorry. Sorry. What you’ve seen in our advertisements so far isn’t a factual representation of events. We actually created those films to protect you and other men from the harsh realities of womanhood. You’re right. The flagrant use of visualizations such as skydiving, rollerblading, and mountain biking (you forgot horse riding, Richard) are actually metaphors. They’re not real. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but there’s no such thing as a “happy period.” The reality is, some people simply can’t handle the truth. In the past we’ve tried to be more honest in our approach. In the 1980s we ran a series of focus groups to help us gauge the public’s reaction to periods. The camps, the mood swings, the insatiable hunger. And yes, Richard, the blood coursing from our uteri like a crimson landslide. So, we’d knew we’d have to change our strategy. And so, from that day to this, we have manage to maintain this illusion. But you Richard have torn down that veil and exposed this myth, thereby exposing every man to a reality we hoped they would never have to face. You did that, Richard. Well done. I just hope you can find it in our heart to forgive us. (SFX: Fart) Sorry, you did know that we do too, didn’t you?